Saturday, January 29, 2005

I’ll just start us off here with a quote.
‘Hello, I’m Henry the rooster. Since this is the Year of the Rooster, the kind folks at Ikea have asked me to say a few words. Did you know that in Sweden, roosters are creatures of nobility? It’s true. Here the roosters don’t get any respect! We’re always referred to as a chicken, a chicken! (Clucks) If I was a Swedish rooster, I’d be sitting in my Ikea living room, listening to Abba; and a nice blonde hen would be giving my drumsticks a massage, Swedish of course. I know you’re saying to yourself Henry, you’re a talking cockerel. But it’s-‘
The rooster stops talking here and the Ikea ad person starts talking. Yes. I don’t know why but I suddenly had this mad urge to do the whole thing in. Yes.
So anyway, that’s just a sub-point. Today I am here to talk about…Stuff.
Stuff is Me. I am Stuff.. :D
Gawd I am so mad.

The Cockroach Incident
Let’s see, Thursday we had another one of those mad tests that Chenlaoshi likes to give us, ie sihan. So everyone was writing very nicely and stuff, I had finished mine as I din’t know what to say to my stupid penpal about coming late to wedding dinners in Singapore. I mean, like come late then come late larh. Not like it’s my fault or something.
Then Chenlaoshi looked at the clock and said very nicely in Chinese, ‘Five more minutes.’
Adeline said something that shouldn’t be said on air very loudly and then sped up her writing speed.
So then after that, Chenlaoshi was like telling us to hand in. I handed in with XL and I only heard Samantha screaming out, ‘There’s a cockroach in the class!’ or ‘Coackroach!’ before the entire class screamed and basically went mad.
I was in the front with XL and Chenlaoshi and had a very nice view about everything because the place where Samantha, Rachel and Supranee sat just exploded as Samantha screeched and stood on her chair, proclaiming to the class that there was a cockroach in the area around her stuff.
Rachel leapt out of her chair remarkably quickly for someone of her size and basically made a lot of noise as Supranee and I moved in for the kill.
Adeline did one of her Adelines, ie screeching very loudly (amazing for someone of her range) and got onto her chair and then, of all things to do, CONTINUED WRITING HER SIHAN.
Yes, so Supranee and I were looking for the cockroach around Sam’s and Rachel’s stuff, when the cockroach made its appearance again. This time, Adeline shrieked her head off, producing a shrill scream that any railway train would have been proud to produce and scarpered from her chair.
She told me later that she wanted to hand in her sihan. No one’s going to buy that story, Adeline.
We found the cockroach, I couldn’t squash it but Supranee did and then we had it cleaned off her shoe and it got stuck onto mine but then we dusted off the shoe and disposed of it nicely.
Now that we got that over and done with… time for another quote!

Things not to say on your first/last date:
‘You look like my mother- I LIKE!’
‘Doctor says that the itch will go in 6 months, don’t worry, it’s just fungus!’
‘If you join the pimples on my back, it says Marry Me! Hahahahahahahaha….’

Debatology
We went to her debate on Friday, she did quite well, aside from the fact that I was grinning madly at whatever she was saying.

So anyway, Adeline is angry at me now ‘cause I pushed her too far. :’(
Okay we made up. Hahahahahahaha
Now that’s the end!


Posted by norbert at 1/29/2005 11:02:00 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005

I feel inclined to blog at… 00.08am in the morning! I wonder why!
I have just discovered that instead of harbouring what I thought was a bleedin’ corn; my soddin’ left foot is nesting a bloody wart.
Yes.
Kingshaw, anyone?
Yes, anyway, details will be scant, as they just laugh at you and freeze it off with liquid nitrogen. Does anyone know where I can buy liquid nitrogen?
And then again, where to keep it so that it wouldn’t evaporate?
Okay, next point.
One, warts are not spread by witches. I am a witch. I have a wart. This does not work well for the stereotype.
Two, warts can be transmitted, ie, you can wish it onto someone else if you know how.
How to Spread Warts:
1. Decide who your worst enemy is.
2. Cut his/her leg, on the sole, anywhere but soles are the best. (Don’t let him/her find out)
3. Walk along a place where your worst enemy will definitely walk. Eg, along the corridor, by a swimming pool, etc etc etc.
4. Wait for the results; hide any plasters you see, so that he/she cannot plaster up the wound to stop infection.
5. If you are doing this by a pool, best thing is to jump into the pool with your wart and swim a little. Then push your worst enemy into the pool, with the cut, leg injury, and left open, else it won’t work.

Yes. I am evil.
And I am very tired. And I am still evil. But tired.

‘Kiss me, I’m bored and restless!’


Posted by norbert at 1/21/2005 01:23:00 AM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Since I have no homework today, or I think that I have no homework today… okay it doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, who cares?
Today we had Literature class. It’s amazing how motivated our class can be- ‘Like cannibals!’ when it comes to stuff like ‘ye3 can1’-ning. Miss Kaur, also known as Mrs. B, or Mrs. BB, had made us swear upon death to bring our English Ten Years Series today or else the picnic would be called off. Naturally, everyone brought.
‘Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa Caaaan!! Like Ye ren like that!’
So everyone was waiting for Literature to come, albeit Chinese, which had this horrible little Chinese test which I am going to fail like nobody’s business due to the $^$^&@#$#@ Zhao Ju, which I am going to get 2 out of 12. Either that or zero. And then there was that little passage that was a complete nightmare or something due to the gazillion words that I had no idea existed… bleah what a day.
So yes, everyone was bemoaning about how awful the test was and everything and cheerfully went off for recess, as we had no idea that there was going to be pizza.
Okay. Let me tell you how the idea of the picnic came about.
From what I know about it, it had something to do with us winning the ‘Home Run’ thingy during the first day of school. Because we had a new school, the committee of Schoolism organized this to get us used to the school; so we ran around a lot, did stupid things, cheered a little, and then, our winning idea, which was to split into two groups, one to run ahead of the other group, which was supposed to be harassing the poor prefects to give us more marks, while the group that ran ahead, got an idea of the next thing that we had to do and thought about how to do it before the other half of the class arrived. LOL
It worked, really.
Also, we were the only class in the winning classes to actually, really cheer and act crazy about it.
Man, 4A1’05 is completely mad. Our teachers keep saying this about us. 3A1’05 is utterly quiet. It’s scary.
Also, I think that Janice doesn’t like me. Either that or I’m scaring her too much.
God, I am so scary. Hahahahahahahhaha!
We got this huge packet of sweets, with Ruffles, and Pringles, Merci chocolates, Yupi burgers and sweets etc, basically everything to make us go junky.
‘You’d do anything for junk food eh?’
‘Yeah!’
So they distributed the Merci chocolates (I got the truffles!) and the Yupi gummy things and Cola and such.
Yes.
Anyway, the idea for the picnic came in English lessons, as usual, where we could usually let loose and terrorize Miss Kaur.
She agreed. Go us!
So today, we went to the patch of grass before the drop off to the field where Adeline wouldn’t sit, where she would do an Adeline i.e. crouching on the ground, covering her ears, refusing to hear anything and screaming out ‘No, no!’ repeatedly, and had our lesson there.
Miss Kaur spent a futile half an hour teaching us; where the only thing that sunk into my mind was how Susan Hill started her story off with Death.
Jothi (John Lemon) summed it up rather aptly.
‘Open the book, Die!’
I just have to say that Kingshaw is a loser. LOSER!
Okay, yes, mission accomplished.
So then we were checking out the time… oh yeah! We sat at the benches there, where frangipani trees ruled. At Supranee’s, Charlene’s, Devanshi’s, Samantha’s, basically that whole group bench, there was this green spider. Nic and I had seen the spider before and it had been sent to a very sad fate by Adeline (Amos!), who blew it off the table.
Elizabeth (Elijah/Ali) and the spider issue, anyone?
So then, I suspected it was the same green spider. Well, it’s never going to terrorize that table again; Rachel (Raphael) murdered it with her penknife.
So then, peace ruled and Miss Kaur taught us rather futilely.
So then she saw the rain clouds, which were coming in rather hurriedly, and decided that it was time for the picnic.
Everyone crowded around the table, there was pizza!
We sang the birthday songs for the January babies, and Saradevi, January baby, said that each January baby should take one box of pizza, there were four, and then the rest of the class squabble for what’s left.
There are, if I am right, 8 January babies.
So then Rachel said that there were only 32 slices and since there were 38 of us, we had to share. Ah Liew and I shared one, and then Sheryl stopped everything.
‘Okay, now, everyone, hold up your pizza, hold it up… yes. Hold up your pizza… in remembrance of… the tsunami victims.’
LOL! Not that I’m being rude or anything…
‘Oi people, moment of silence, moment of silence!’
I just feel like saying this larh, Sheryl has this look on her face that immediately shows whether she is joking or not. She can be perfectly serious with a serious voice but everyone knows that she’s joking as it is easily told on her face. Like just the other day, Miss Kaur asked her to retell some comprehension of ours that we had to do. It’s June 1986 if anyone wants to know.
It’s about this Maori woman who refuses to leave her Totara tree, birth tree, just to make way for electrical wiring. So basically, she died in the end and they buried the woman’s body below her tree. And since everyone was against digging up the dead, the engineer had to build his wires else where.
Sheryl got everything right here.
THEN, ‘Until now, the tree has become a tourist attraction, and at night, the tree’s branches will sway and the villagers know that she’s back with her tree and she will stay with her tree forever and ever and ever…’
‘Stop! Absolute nonsense!’
Yes. Sheryl is a wonderful joker. She rocks man.
Yes, so the picnic started. Everyone had fun eating; Sonia had a cough, half the other half of the other half of the class was dieting, so in the end, we had pizza left over. Right.
So we sat at the drop off and stared into the field while eating the food larh.
Loretta, Lawrence, brought chocolates.
JJJJJJ
So we ate our fill and some other people, got invited and shared with us. Then they opened the Ruffles, which made more chaos and everything, since Ruffles was Nice.
Sour Cream and Onion rocks! It’s not Sour and Cream, Elijah…
Was really inspired by this chair at the end of the field… if I ever write Literature maybe that will be inspiration!
Chair at the End of the Field.
So continued staring at it for a while, Jothi brought Ruffles and forced us to eat some. Then we went back to the benches and drank some of the coke in our desire to belch, to finish the thing before time ended.
It’s this huge 1.5 litre thing.
We couldn’t finish it due to lack of time.
ME: ‘Okay, let me try Ruffles and Sour Cream chips.’ Munch, munch. ‘Sour taste, weird taste, sour taste, weird taste…’
So then we went back to class to find a rather amused looking Miss Koh, our Biology teacher.

I am never going to look at pizza the same way again.

And this song is dedicated to Ah Liew. We sing it to the tune of ‘I Just Wanna Be A Sheep’
‘I just wanna be Ali, babababa!
I just wanna be Ali, babababa!
I pray to God, my soul to keep,
I just wanna be Ali, babababa!’
Composed by Nicola Wong and Nellyn Tan.
‘I Just Wanna Be A Sheep’ Copyrighted to Althea and Nicola 2005
(D’oh! What’s Althea’s surname?)

And while I am here, I will shamelessly publicise my fanfiction.net account! Hahaahaha!! Go to fanfiction.net and search for heka! that's me! :D Read my stories! Wheeeeeeeeeeee

Posted by norbert at 1/11/2005 09:23:00 PM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Wotcher, late night post just to usher in the New Year!
-Usher usher- Now- scram, beat it New Year, I’ve got Os to do.
Hah.
So yes, I haven’t finished most of Amos’ New Year’s Resolutions, haven’t found much time yet to do practically anything. I just want to die.
She wants an MSG of 1.0? I’ll get an MSG of 5.6
Whatever that means.
I think I’m going to have lots of mental breakdowns this year. Already I feel like crying every time Doreen Lau just glances at me or when Chen Lao Shi gives me this particularly hard look.
Man I’m like screwed and dead.
Okay I am like worried to tears now.
It’s only the first week and I’m crying already out of worry. Man I feel so evil coming online. I shouldn’t be online. I should be at my table, sneaking the radio and doing Chemistry like Yong Le and Vaness/Osama.
MS Word doesn’t register Osama. Odd. I thought it would.
Yes, so whatever, am going to the bed now and probably just cry into my pillow. I guess that’s how I handle stress.
It’s choking me.
Okay I guess it’s the long sleepless nights. My eyes are probably just tearing to tell me to get to bed. Or maybe this is an over-exertion just to get me to sleep.
Whatever.
I don’t really care nowadays.

Posted by norbert at 1/08/2005 01:13:00 AM