Thursday, August 26, 2004

Okay I khoped this from Adeline's blog. There, I admitted it. Now she can't sue me.
Okay it may look the same at first but it's different in the end! Really! And I've put STARS on my personal favourites.
I think you're going to see a lot of stars.

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

(*)French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

German Capitalism: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

(*)Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

(*)British Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are mad.

(*)Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Arkansas Capitalism: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

Hindu Capitalism: You have two cows. You worship them.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Canadian Capitalism: You have two cows. Let's make a hockey team, eh?

(*)Chinese Capitalism: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

Irish Capitalism: You have two cows. You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.

Israeli Capitalism: So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

(*)Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

Cuban Capitalism: You have two cows. They try to swim to Florida.

Disney Capitalism: You have two cows. They dance & sing.

(*)Microsoft Capitalism: You have two cows. You patent them and sue anyone else who has them.

Hollywood Capitalism: You have two cows. You give them udder implants and also teach them to bullet-dodge, wall climb and shoot milk out of their udders on command.

(*)Clinton Capitalism: You have two cows. You deny any knowledge of them.

Gore Capitalism: You have two cows. You claim you invented them.

Real-World Capitalism: You have two cows. You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Australian Capitalism: You have two cows. You try to wrestle them.

(*)Iraqi Capitalism: You have two cows. They are biochemical weapons.

(*)Jewish Capitalism: You have two cows. You set them on fire and they burn for 8 days.

(*)Cambodian Capitalism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Texan Capitalism: You have two cows. You teach them to fire guns.

(*)Totalitarian Capitalism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Nevadan Capitalism: You have two cows. You charge lonely men from Arkansas to spend the night with them.

(*)Bureaucrat Capitalism: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Real Capitalism: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

(*)Environmental Capitalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking them.

Surreal Capitalism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Californian Capitalism: You have two cows. They are happy.

Bush Capitalism: You have two cows. You think that cows and humans can coexist peacefully. You give all of the milk to the upper class when they have cows of their own, and the lower class needs milk.

man! hahahahaha i love this yaaay

Posted by norbert at 8/26/2004 01:13:00 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I’m really tempted to just Copy and Paste all my Module 2 reports onto this inviting blank white piece of trash known as the Space to Type my Blog Thoughts. But anyway.
Still, I just want to thank resiliang this fellow for being so nice! He sent me so many songs, that nice guy haha.


Þ http://www.can.com.sg/content/neocan/en/streetwise/maxidollar/watch_that_taxi_meter.html
Þ http://www.sbstransit.com.sg/alighting.asp?stopcode=81179&stopcodealighting=&roaddescalighting=&stopdescalighting=

Dah dee…. Hahaha just keeping this for fun… dododododododoodoo
Okay im bored. We’ve almost done our module 2 finish and we’re very happy at that. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY
KUDOS TO CIHUI!! THE MOST HARDWORKING ONE OF US ALLLLLLLLLL!!
TC doesn’t talk much ahahahahhahahaha

Anyway im getting only one, breaking the habit and from the inside from yi liang… :D
I got paper heart from him too! Ahaha so nice^^ I know I can bully guys. YAY!

Okay okay better stop. I ought to bathe now evil me. But I dunnoe…….hahahahah

Posted by norbert at 8/24/2004 08:53:00 PM

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I have been unjustly accused of being Outdated.
I bloody well resent that.
Because I have been busy. Wa hahahahaha.

Let’s see. Last week was the lovely 3 day holiday. We saw fireworks from our house. I conveniently forgot that I had to write a lian-bi on the NDP and didn’t watch it. Finally did the lian-bi, much to the horror of my friends. Then on Tuesday, XL Adel and me went to East Coast Park to cycle. The night before I had specifically told XL to wear PANTS as she wasn’t a good cyclist and pants protect one from really serious injury if one falls. She forgot!!!
Came the next day wearing white shorts. White. I ask you. On a bike that’s greasy and scratchy and dirty and one wears white. She and Adel were treated or forced into an impromptu lunch from my dad. It was scary but still quite funny. Adel provided the free entertainment for everyone. Sherilyn has openly declared Adel an idiot. Joscelyn just remarked that they all were weirdoes.
So dad drove us to East Coast Park and dumped us all there and we happily got to our bikes and Adel started off while me and XL were left behind.
Oh yeah. As some people know, when one gets the bikes, one has to register with an ID. Since XL and Adel both don’t have an Identity Card yet and I stupidly brought mine along as it had always been in my wallet, both parties grinned at me in that way and I had to surrender my Card. Evil scums.
I wore black and had cargo pants. I felt like Zhen and Kyou. Zhen from W Juliet, and Kyou from Fruits Basket. Haha ‘cos they both usually wear the same cargo pants as I was wearing then. When Zhen is in his male disguise! XL don’t think so far away! Hahaha…
Taught XL the basics while Adel cycled away like nobody’s business. Adel then went on saying that she learnt to cycle in 2 hours while I learnt in a couple of weeks. At least I can remember how to balance and cycle well within a few seconds of getting the bike. Adel stood there and went, ‘How arh, I forgot how to cycle!’

Naturally, I bished her.

So she cycled off while I taught XL. After some times, she finally got it and I told her to treat herself hahahahaha… she learnt in like half the time Adel did too! –is very happy-
We found a lovely slope that I ‘wheeeeeed’ down while XL was behind ‘cos she said it was okay to go ahead as before the slope was this looooooooonnngg straight road. I ‘wheeed’ down then saw Adel ‘aaaaaaaaaaahhhing’ her way down before jam-braking right in the middle of the slope. Stupid girl. She could have catapulted over her bike and its goodbye to Adel’s brilliant brains. So I went back up to see XL standing over a fallen bike. Rushed over, pulled the bike out and then told her about the slope, saying that she can go down easy if she wanted to. She did and loved the slope. Adel went the slope for a second time and ‘aaaaaaaaaaahed' down it again.
So then all went well for a while. A while being like a good half an hour. Then while we were cycling over this nice stretch of road, where I was in front, XL was behind me and Adel was right at the back. I wasn’t cycling too fast, scared that XL couldn’t keep up. I kept glancing back and THEN!! I glanced back and saw XL crumple very neatly into a bush. Shrieking out ‘OH MY GOD XL’ reversed, cycled over to find a bemused XL sitting on the track. She had mild scratches over her and I helped her up just as Adel cycled over. She said that she was looking at XL who ‘suddenly disappeared’ around a bend. XL took a band-aid from Adel to cover this really horrid looking knee injury and then we told Adel to cycle along as she was a case of yue4 bang1 yue4 mang2. we then found out XL’s bike was an evil little blighter that the chain had come loose. Spent a grueling few minutes trying to put the bloodylittleevillydemo- okay. Stupid chain back onto the gears. Put it back, switched bikes with XL just as Adeline came back. We then went about, where we found a 7-11 and slurped down the nice Slurpies while resting. We then decided to cycle again where I had this attack of the Evil Norbert and decided to chase down this bunch of annoying guys that whizzed past us like there’s no tomorrow.
That reminds me. We had lots of attention, dear ole XL being this lovely chio-looking girl and who doesn’t know how to cycle as well. At the beginning this guy answered XL’s rhetorical question as he whizzed past us on his oh-so-fast skates. Then this other guy stuck his tongue out at her as he passed her as she cycled sloooowly down the track. XL swears to kill him. Go XL!!
Then as we went down this little no-one-went-to path, this bunch of Indian guys lounging around saw XL attempting to cycle with me teaching her and cheered her on with a ‘You can do it!’
Basically, me being the little annoying scum that I am, growled at every single one of them bloodylittlewartyidiotswhothinkthat--- okay.
So I whizzed past XL and Adeline and then stopped after a while. I turned back and….
XL AND ADELINE WERE MISSING!!!
I went back a little, got really confused and called Adeline. She told me to go back to the 7-11 as it was going to be the time when we had to return the bikes. So I zoomed all the way to the 7-11 and then….. I HAD to bang into this little boy.
Hey wasn’t my fault.. .he wasn’t looking where he was going and I was shouting at him and ringing the bloody bell before I finally gave up on his hearing system and swerved to the right, braking at the same time. Braked too slowly, banged right into the boy’s bike. Being some really young kid he started crying while I winced about on my painful knee, asking the dear boy whether he was okay or not.
'Oh my God, are you alright?’
‘Stop crying, it’s okay, there’s no injury right? Never mind he’s just shocked.’ <-- Boy’s mom.
‘Waaaaaa….’
‘Okay okay tell me… where does it hurt…?’ Mom.
‘-Sniffle- My finger……’ Boy.
I visibly twitched at that sentence. That boy had a bruised finger while I had a bruised knee!!! Now it’s this beeg ‘orh ce’ all purpley and big. And it hurts. His mother told me that she din’t blame me and scolded the boy too… he really wasn’t looking because his back was to me as I zoomed towards him.
Then I went on and saw XL and Adel reaching the 7-11. had this mini argument with Adel on who was further away. I argued that since they reached there first, I was obvious that I was further away from the 7-11. Buuut anyway got scolded. So yeah. Whatever.
Returned the bikes. Spent some time on the beach before going to KFC and eating the cheese fries. Then went home a happy and bubbly girl.
WA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….
This is a post about Tuesday. Everything else will die.

Posted by norbert at 8/15/2004 09:06:00 PM

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

BAKA HTML!!!
damn im using jap.
-mutters on about german-
bugger.
sooo i've been banned. sob sob. kelvin gave me the whoooooooooooollleee series of FRUITS BASKET!!!
-IS VERY VERY VERY VERY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY DEFINITELY VERY VERY VERY VERY HAPPY-
okay. better go before my dad AWAKENS.
bwa haha...BYE!!!

Posted by norbert at 8/03/2004 11:22:00 PM