Sunday, December 28, 2003
my com ish a naughty com... arent you?okay wadever.
end of the world
transcript
Hokay, so here’s the Earth. It’s chilling, damn, that is a sweet thing you might say…Brown! Alright we have the ice capes melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the ozone layer leaving and the sun exploding…
We’re definitely going to blow ourselves up. Hokay so basically we’ve got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the UK and us. Good news: We’ve got about 26 hundred more than anybody else. Whatever. Anyway, one day we decide that, suppose the Chinese son of the bitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China. While it’s on its way, China’s like ‘Shit, shit who the fuck is shooting us?’ ‘Oh well, fire missiles!’ And France is like ‘ Shit guys, because the missiles are coming! Fire our shit!’ ‘But I am le tired!’ ‘Well, have a nap then fire ze missiles!’ Meanwhile Australia is down there like ‘WTF mate?’ India, Israel and Pakistan launch their ships so now we’ve got missiles flying everywhere, passing each other. Russia’s like ‘Ah Motherland!’ then England’s like ‘About that time, ay chaps?’ ‘Brother?’
So now the US is like ‘Fuck, we’re dumb asses’ and Canada’s like ‘What’s going on, eh?’ Australia’s still like ‘WTF?’ Mars is laughing at us; some huge meteor’s like ‘Well, fuck that.’
So now we’ve got nuclear winter. Everyone’s dead except Australia and they’re still like ‘WTF?’ But they’ll be dead soon. Fucking kangaroos. But assuming we don’t blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to work a California breaking off from the United States. To go hang with Hawaii. Alaska can come too.
The End!
Posted by norbert at 12/28/2003 11:16:00 PM
wa ahhahah i have just been inspired by an elizabeth at fanfiction.net. i shall do a spoof.
listening to~black eyed peas, where is the love
talking to~gerard.
once upon a time a long long time ago, some idiot person -me- decided to do a very stupid and lame spoof of any blockbuster beeg movie that happened to be in the business right at the moment. currently the sorry movies appears to be lotr and ju on.
and that same person has just conspired against a coffee bean known as samwise gamgee.
and the same person has just signed out of msn. and has Failed To Receive a Song. but that isnt the point is it? the point is that the author is listening to some song known as 'keep on moving'. sho in accordance to the song, the author has to keep on moving and thus she shalt crash into the computer.
and so on and so forth.
-BUT IM NOT DOWN!!!-
-legolas dances in, authors gives him her hardest Glare Of Death-
legolas: Allrigghtee then, adios amigo.
-legolas dances back out.-
aragorn: legolas never spoke french.
gimli: its spanish stupid.
-author throws watch into the Flaming Pit of Doom, otherwise known as Mount Doom.-
author: AND THUS THE RING OF ..........uh...wadshisname again...
gollum: my precious.
author: its sayang behargqu, idiot.
gollum: go away. leave precious alone!!
aragorn: why cha throw your watch away anyway?
author: becos it was bloody faithful and annoying that's why.
random person....-the chart of frends appear and the annoying thing that goes ti titititititititititititi finally stops at........NICOLA WONG!!-:remember the falling mount doom of chilli sauce!!!
author: ah yes! trash of Tray-Earth.
nicola: and the TOMATO SPUD SOUND!
-sensible side of author barges in, takes a beeg remote control and presses the pause button-
sensi: sorry. author yesterday went out. until now havent posted yet. sho here's the funny bit of the outing yesterday.
siao side: GREEN IS AN EVIL COLOUR!!!SENSI!! PLAY GAMES LEHXX!!
-song switches to the doom song-
author: GIR!!! SING THE DOOM SONG!!!
gir: doom doom doomdoomdoomdoomdoom......................i forgot the words.....
zim: HELL ISH RELEASED ON EAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTHHHHHHH!!!
toshio's mom appears. michelle has a crush on toshio you know. she says he very cute. a white boy with beeg black guys and a voice like a cat and is practically half naked in the entire movie.....i cant see why not.
mom:KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!!
everyone screams and runs away.
GODZILLA OF THE ANIMATED SERIES APPEARS!!! WA HAHAHAA HAHHAAHA!!!!!
godzilla: reee?
author: i wanna call him...ARDETH BAY!!
rick o' connell appears.
rick: tha's my frend you got there buster!!
author: SO?! I LIKE ARDETH BAY. HE'S MIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!!!
rexxar and rokhan of warcraft lore appear also. they are arguing over a piece of fulscap paper.
rexxar: we're NOT SUPPOSED TO WRITE HERE!! IT SAYS: NOTHING IS TO BE WRITTEN IN THIS MARGIN!!!
rokhan: I DUN CARE!! I LIKE WRITING THERE YOU MON!!
author: MINE MINE MINE!!
legolas tra-la-las back in, dancing a sick version of the tango. -refer to the secret diaries please-
legolas: sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of pie..
aragorn: sixpence none the richer...A BAND!!
legolas: of?
aragorn: dunnoe.
legolas: AND SHADDUP WHEN IM SINGING~!!!!!
nicola the great girl, invented the art of throwing spit wads. she 'spat' it all over the booth that we were in. in burger king. and THEN!! AN ALL OUT WAR BEGAN!! with with with, the FELLOWSHIP being some wadchacallit... some sorta chicken cheese...uh...long pieces...fried.... look like fries...wadever. YES.
'and on with the story!!'
the author and nicola ate the fellowship up after mount doom collapsed on itself. the ring/prop got all bloody with tomato sauce and was eaten as well.
NEWSFLASH~ THE AUTHOR HAS BEEN OFF MSN FOR MORE THAN 15 MINUTES!! THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!!
author is signing in again. and she is now listening to michelle branch's all you wanted. the same song has been blasted before in author's father's car before. author's siblings and herself have sung it all out of tune to author's father.
he did not take it well.
and now. the author's insanity has been spent. the author has given up on sanity. will do hmk tml. legolas will die. no worries.
Posted by norbert at 12/28/2003 06:10:00 PM
this is wad i call a quiz fetish.
You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Captain Jack Sparrow. You love to drink rum
and you walk around like you live wherever you
happen to be. You are a very dishonest person
and therefore you can be trusted to be
dishonest, honestly... You are very clever and
never forgive people if they betray you. You
are also very agile (good for climbing up ropes
and standing on the masts of sinking boats).
Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Pirates of the Carribean character are you? Find out @ RelentlessDivas.Net!
Captain Jack Sparrow helps you get your horn on!
Boys in eyeliner = heaven for you! Drinks all
around!
What Character from Pirates of the Caribbean Serectly Fancy?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a rabid Jack Sparrow fan. You love his khol,
drunken manner, and all around sexiness, but
you take it a little *too* far
Are you a rabid Pirates of the Caribbean fangirl?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Captain Jack Sparrow
You're not always clear when you say something, but
you are trustworthy.
-x-What charater from Pirates of the Carribbean are you?(with pictures)-x-
brought to you by Quizilla
and now i wonder if i can see them. at all.
Posted by norbert at 12/28/2003 04:29:00 PM
Saturday, December 27, 2003
Ahem its sat righT? right?! right?!?good oh.
so we went to school again... dad was bringing sherilyn to school. and then when she was nearly there, she asked on today's date. we told her it was the 27th and she was like 'really?' cos she had a meeting with her president on the 30th and he said it was a sat in the email. and then at the gate of anderson college...she called him and he said that it was on the 30th...well...lets just say that she got into loads of trouble with my dad and mom. but she's okay. hahah she said dad will scold and scold and she'll just wait there going 'finished?' and when he's really done she'll just laugh and skip off. ^^
Posted by norbert at 12/27/2003 05:55:00 PM
Friday, December 26, 2003
Today is Friday. yes it is.good i havent lost touch.
right.
today... uh...lets see woke up at 10am becos of terry's calling stupid younger sister assumed that it was gerard...she's obsessed with him. i swear.
okay im getting out of point.
right so terry called and that begun a whirlwind of calls. called nicola later to check the time and then we did the whole calling thing again and THEN jo had to use the phone. stupid girl.
so then terry called by the other line and then she assumes AGAIN that its gerard. great.
and then i ate my breakfast, went off at like 10.40...was supposed to meet there at 11am anyway but i will be late. so there.
haha.
and then we started off on the poster, but we had to go to the back of the school cos the npcc was using the place with the sofas.
saw grace and ryan there also. haha.
mr marlin rocks by the way. ahahahahhaha if we could i would have taken a photo of the poster it rocks!
they brought waterproof paint.......
we did the radio up and then the teacher came while we were painting. you know i seem to have acquired 3 very enthusiastic erasers. you see cos i was using tailor's chalk to draw on the black cloth. and then when i drew wrong, i just called and then elix and nic and terry would rush over with newspaper and then squabble on who to erase the chalk off. terry being the nice girl and oldest amog us will of course let elix and nic argue larh. :P at around 2.30pm, terry complained of a gnawing in her tummy.
time for lunch! ^^
we went to heartland mall for lunch and we decided on mac' to eat at. hahahha this is the funny part.
Titanic: The French Fried Version
Cast: Rose Fry (something)~French fry 1 with warty nose
Jack Potato (something)~french fry 2 with warty butt
Man who asks Rose's name later in the movie~straw
Iceberg that started it all~ Ice cube(which eventually broke)
and the creme of the crop...
TITANIC: paper napkin, which will break into two but elix said it later broke into three. wadever. it has the word 'Titanic' written on it with ketchup using a sharp french fry. which i eventually ate.
right...sho we did the whole thing...and then the ice cube scratched against the titanic, yada yada yada and then we shredded the titanic, and used the same broken ice cube as the wooden thing that rose was lying on and did them in the air. hee hee. imagination rocks.
jack died and then i ate him, using the barbeque sauce as our blood. :D
so you know, she got saved right? yeah and then there's this guy who asks her for her name? well in my version, he kicked her and said,
'Woss yer name, woman?'
'Rose something.'
wad? we forgot jack's surname......
and rose's last name...
oh dear.
but in the end, as an old woman, she threw the blue diamond thing into the water right?
so the cup cap becomes the diamond and rose looks over into the water...but instead of it dropping, she drops with it and they end in, quote nicola, 'davie jone's locker'. which is the barbeque sauce again...and then we squashed the whole thing under the cup cap.
HAH!
now there's a titanic everyone wants to see.
but im sorry...to see it is better than to hear it. :D
sho we basically went back and then did the painting. mr marlin's eyes rock. they're white and then with a red line and its black in the middle. ahahhahaha
and then terry changed the radio station to 98.7!!!
noooooo!! so i chased her around, and then attempted to paint her but got elix instead. :P she nearly throttled me.
nicola started doing the write up after lunch, sho she assisted me in the chasing of terry. :D took a whole bottle of waterproof paint...red btw and attempted to throw it at her.
in the end, i dint splash her, we got back power 98 and its finally done!! haha the dolphin looks pissed anyway. mr marlin's off his hooker too. :D
tml...we're going to go again...and do...err...i dunnoe. hahaha and we're bringing cds!!
hahaha...and oh yes!! the blink 182 rock!!
haha you see, cos we took some rocks and a brick to set the thing in place cos of the wind. and then i just took this rock and painted out the blink 182 logo on it in red and wrote out blink 182 at the bottom of the rock. and now its on my table with me hahahaha. cool right. :P
Posted by norbert at 12/26/2003 11:05:00 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2003
'Sayang beharguqu...'that's malay for 'my precious' anyway. hahahaha
saw the lotr rotk liao!! wa hahahahahha!!
do i rock or wad. -ego ego- and i saw it lemme see....ON THE 22ND HAH!!!
:D
freak. stupid nic saw it on the 21st. and then elix saw it on the day after me.
should i spill out the movie?
hahahahah
WARNING: LOTR FANS WHO HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE PLEASE DO NOT READ.
okay lets see, they missed out saruman going to the shire, and sam wasnt' supposed to be ousted from them three and the spider rocks. hahaha
oh yeah, sam wore the ring, and he dint leave the light or wadever down there. :D
and and and pippin and merry are supposed to be TALL!! they had the ent drink!!!
now now lotr fans dooonnt kill mee.....
Posted by norbert at 12/25/2003 11:11:00 PM
Saturday, December 20, 2003
right. i hate life really really really really now.okay ill be going off tml...but apparently, no one's packing their bags still wa hahah. we're going in the morning too. unless my family's some genius in time management etc, we are SHO screwed.
wadever.
nicola says she cant read my font. hahahaha.
right gerard, you should have gotten a message from me...nicola, meet gerard......right i feel stupid. you guys talked to each other on tagboards...you virtually know each other. -rolls eyes-
okay wadever. gerard, send her the marlin picture... if i ever get it into an attachement ......i gave you her email addie, just send it to her. nic you knwo wad to do on the poster...i dun wanna leave. ugh. hahah but ont eh best side, i dont get to do butterfly for the last lesson :D wa hahahahha come to think of it... mr chia pushed me to swim fly today..how do you guys do it... i try not to breathe nowadays :P
hotmail is taking an eon to open a window. ugh. stupid hotmail. and yes mr marlin is very cute. hahahahhahahaha oh wait. he shouldnt be cute. he was fashioned after mr chia...and a wooden marlin in some japanese food shop :D
okay solved the stupid problems wa hahahaha thanks to gerard....:D he called me...at 11.30pm. :D
Posted by norbert at 12/20/2003 10:12:00 PM
hehe, gerard here. just popping in to say hi. whee. blogger sure is different from diary-x that i use. But i still prefer mine =p=p=p -looks around- and it has lousy design might i add -ducks from any blogger fans- right, i wun make this post too long. just to prove i have access to nell's blog muahaha. right, signing off -pops-
Posted by norbert at 12/20/2003 06:43:00 PM
Friday, December 19, 2003
dammit. lost the linking for the spkc site. i wanna cry. can i cry? -sobZ-and i got a tagbaord!! kudos to gerard! ^^
he's actually trying to do my christmas list. hahahha. i would call that....fanatical. :P
oh well.
we have to go training tml. gerard came back like yesterday haha i got the timing mixed up but who cares. wadever. right.
my sister being an insensitive brat that she obivously is, has been going around, refusing to do the dishes and refusing to cook. sho fine, we MADE her cook. hahahahahhahaha
she has to cook or do the dishes so i volunteered to do the dishes. hahahah wheee. go me!! ^^
and i hve officially given up on my homework. im going on a holiday. heck care about homework. i have only cut out 3 outta 6 newspaper articles. i have done zilch on the reviews, mathematics and i have started on literature. and i am writing basic crap. oh my god. chinese. -buries head-
i will try to do all in the last week of the holidays, get screwed by my parents, try updating this. hahahahahah
i hate my cca. i hate it i hate it.
lets see. we have 4 members. 4 pathetically insane, sane deprived, with chronic insanity problems. they give us a booth. to do our cca fair. god we're screwed.
but do not worry. in our other blog we have done some lovely changes. we have gone on the discouraging people to join our cca. we have moved on to The Upper Circle of Life.
st john. i wanna cry. oh well. she just called and asked on my address......haiz.
oh wadever. no one thinks its wrong anyway....heck larh.
and i have updated the scenes! this is a milestone in my life! hahahah
-slams milestone into the ground and starts hammering it in, ignorant of all the crying ants that are scampering about.-
and i like the death of rats too.
SQUEAK.
Posted by norbert at 12/19/2003 05:25:00 PM
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Ahem.The, haha, Oath of the Ankh-Morporkian Night Watch. Ha ha ha.
'I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit's deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork comma serve the public trust comma and defend the subjects of His stroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majesty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket without fear comma or thought of personal safety semi-colon to pursue evildoers and protect the innocent comma laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty comma so help me bracket aforesaid deity bracket full stop Gods Save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop.'
-Smirk-
Ah makes one want to join the Ankh-Morporkian Night Watch eh? ^^
Posted by norbert at 12/18/2003 02:25:00 PM
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
whee just watched the journey to middle earth. hahahahahahah stupid legolas should die die die die!~!!okay they said that we could have our own ending AND they'll give tickets to the 20 best entries!! wa haahhahahahaha!! will jrr tokien kill me if i put legolas to die or something?
~ponders for a couple of seconds~
yes he will. dang.
i want the marathon tickets!! me me me!!! -sulks- and i wanna watch the shooooowww!!!! and then ill scream out in the threatre, 'LEGOLAS YOU BEEG FOOL YOU'RE MINE!! WA AHAHHAHAHAHAHA!! ' and thus die cos plenty of legolas fans will kill me. oh me oh my. -titters-
but ill die for the greater cause. or maybe i could just fly to wadever country orli is in and then assasinate him there. hahahahaha very fun y'know assasination. ^^
wait he's coming back to do the potc sequel. dang.
and yesterday held my yougner sister's beeg pooh bear hostage for a grand total of 15 seconds. was threatening to pour coke from a cup which contained pre existing coke* but.... she stopped me. dang. anyway was doing for fun. haha.
* pre-existing coke: read terry prachett's men at arms. they have pre existing pork but the idea's still the same. plenty of quantum was involved, no worries.
Posted by norbert at 12/17/2003 09:01:00 PM
FREAK DAT STUPID COM ~curses fluently at the fast com~
yesterday i did all the linking sho nicely and etc and THEN it HAD TO BLACK OUT.
.......and then
mom yelled at us to go and sleep...........
sho here i am again. to do some lovely stupid -muttering- linking.
and i like terry pratchett and i think that susan sto helit and lobsang ludd are the best couple ever!!! ^^
ill come back a few hours later. and i hate my homework. i have no blanko. and i have a stupid sense of pessimistic-ness. i hate life. all the stupid cancellations.... I WANT A BLANKO FOR CHRISTMASSSS!!!!!
technically this is my christmas wishes.....^^
a stupid bloody decent radio that doesnt change the station everytime you bang the table
a nice blanko. ^^
more time to finish my homework. ^^
some one who would actually help me at this stupid html thingamajig.<-heh this wish can come true!:P
more blank cds. i wanna burn more songs. hahahhahaha.
canada's really big by arrogant worms. if gerard can give it to me.....YAY!
the whooollllleeee series of terry pratchett, animorphs, charmed, everworld, lotr.... hahah.
spkc rocks!! hahahaha actually dunnoe wad to wish for liao. bit bored here....lalallalala.
~couple of seconds later~
yay. blogger dint delete my hard work~~!! hahahah great. alll the linking ish in place. whee. HAH! wheee... now to think about how lunchy am i and am i lunchy enough to eat my younger sister cos she has no idea wad 'lol' means. wa hahahahaha
i myself...figured out wad lol was in sec one. that was when i just signed in to msn and got an msn account. hah. and i explained it to her twice but no.....she dint get it. stupid girl. hahahahahahaha
Posted by norbert at 12/17/2003 01:23:00 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
thank god. stupid thing took sho long to load i thought i lost all my hard work of a total of 15 minutes. hahahahahahhahahhahhaha. whee. posted again on the SPKC site.
hahhahah our financial status is bloody low btw. ^^
~Couple of hours later....~
whoo. the stupid linking is finally up. i hate life still. dont worry.
Posted by norbert at 12/16/2003 09:51:00 PM
lo again. i hate life.... gerard's coming back day after tml...he SHOULD help me. if not, ill just kill him. or just block him. it kills him anyway. hahahah but rest assured ill rush to the phone and call him immediately. ^^
still the stupid problems of html and tagboarding persist. if they continue to do so i will KILL the next person who goes around singing 'oh yeah oh yeah, my html rocks!' or something along the line of 'tagboarding rules!! wahahahhahaha!!' anyway. ill still kill them. no problem there. ^^
yeah anyone who wants to help us in our great, sorry, brilliant product of endless genius (actually it took only like 1 hour cos i just rushed on about creating a blog and nic cheered me on. hahahha) plan of killing our swimming coach via voodooical, magical, or plain old assasination will do. if i was in ankh morpork, ill just hire the pple from the assasin's guild. the price would be twenty thousand ankh morporkian money. yay.
we need a picture of dear old mr chia btw. hahahaha its technically quite amzing. heh. im managing 2 blogs!! how cool is that. hahahahahhaha
i havent done ANY of my work. self preservation and guilty conscience have come together and the have gotten an infernal imp with a large hammer to threaten me to do my homework. imps and hammers never should be together. trust me on that. really. honestly. fine. dont believe me
today.....we spring cleaned the house!! hahaha we cleaned the sofa...bloody annoying cos my younger sis wasnt do much work, and then jie vacuumed the floor etc etc she dint sweep it larh. she vacuumed. wahahahahahha. and i cooked soup, read terry pratchett, and then sulked from 5pm all the way to 7pm, completely not doing any housework/cooking at all. hahhahahaha.
i wanna watch lotr! i want 10000 bucks! i want to marry a rich guy!! ahahah like that ever happen. sorry gerard. i dont mean it btw. haha...................................AND!!!
I WANT A DECENT RADIO!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
PS~ i luv quantum weather butterflies. dey are sho cute.
Posted by norbert at 12/16/2003 09:49:00 PM
wheee.... now the scenes are coming along perfectly fine...bobby just got fried by piper hahahha i havent done any of my homework and im gonna go on a holiday. man im screwed. its like only 12 plus now and i have to sleeppp....... how disgusting is that. hahahaha
Posted by norbert at 12/16/2003 12:23:00 AM
HAH! this is the second blog. i deleted the first one. whoo. hahahahha wheeeee.. still the same problems about stupid html and stupider tagboards......ahhahaha
sigh....who wanna help me? -innocenty eyes-